Choose your friends wisely and with quality in mind. Who you surround yourself with is one of the most important factors in remaining who you are. Having a positive and supportive “circle of influence” is a major piece to your development as a strong young woman.

Surrounding yourself with the right or wrong people can be life changing...depending on who you choose to be influenced by, your path could be uplifting or unraveling.

Many times we are heavily influenced by the thoughts, opinions and ideas of others. Depending on who’s doing the influencing, we can feel empowered or rejected. However, we want to warn you NOT to blow off a very important person that many of us never recognize or credit as the most influential person in your life - YOU!

Your opinions, thoughts, advice and intuition all need to carry weight with you, and your voice matters. You need to be just as gracious, trusting, forgiving, accepting, respectful and loving of yourself as you are of others. It’s important to know what your own voice sounds like; to consider your own thoughts, opinions and ideas first and foremost.

We are going to do a “work-in” exercise to reflect on the people closest to you and who you should surround yourself with. I’d recommend putting yourself at the center of your circle of influence and begin to respect, advise and listen to yourself first over many others. This may take some practice and intentional “quiet time” to listen to what your voice sounds like.

Surrounding yourself with the right people is imperative to your growth on the inside. Finding those influencers is also a process and may even become a seasonal exercise. We believe as your life evolves, so do some of your friends and influencers. We think this is an exercise you can repeat every so often as you reflect on how your circle of influence is affecting you.

People come in and out of your life for a reason and a purpose. If a relationship is positive, recognize the value of that relationship and invest heavily into them. If that relationship turns negative or is causing you stress, anxiety or forcing you to question your own personal values, then you may need to choose to create space between you and them. This can even look like “unfollowing” those people and influencers in your life who are causing you to trip up.

I never believe in completely eliminating a relationship unless it’s causing harm or is abusive. Everyone deserves an opportunity to connect with us, but we give them permission with how much and how they influence us. You have a choice in who you bring in and out of your own circle of influence.

Your circle of influence can and should include friends, adults, parents, pastors, coaches, teachers, grandparents, aunts or uncles. People you have connections and relationships with already. I believe adding influencers that span a wide range of ages and experiences will give you balance and variety. Seek supportive friends and wise influencers while trusting your own intuition.

Stay strong. You are loved, you are worthy and you belong.

QUESTIONS:

Reflect on your relationships and current circle of influence as you answer these questions:

• What qualities do you look for and appreciate in a true friend? What qualities do you provide in relationship?

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• Recall a time in your life when you were positively influenced by someone else. Recall a time when you were negatively influenced and what would you do differently now?

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• Is there anyone you should move closer into your circle? Is there anyone you should step away from or move to the outer circles?

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Exercise: Name 3 of your closest friends who you can depend on and are the most uplifting to you. Also, name 3 influencers in your life who can sharpen you and build you up to become all you were created to be. Plot them on the “Circle of Influence” according to how much they could change your life for the better. Don’t forget about yourself!